If you or a loved one has experienced sexual trauma, you’re not alone. In fact, the sad reality is that over 50% of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence. These statistics are alarming, and we are here to help the individuals impacted. Sexual trauma can happen to anyone and come in many forms, so not every story or person is the same. While there are common responses to sexual trauma, everyone’s experience is unique and valid. Importantly, there will always be people that understand and support sexual abuse victims through the trauma.

Common responses to sexual trauma

After someone experiences sexual trauma, they may respond in various ways. While healing is not linear, a common first stage of grief is denial. This is the brain’s way of protecting us from painful memories. We may repress thoughts about the events, avoid triggers, and make an effort to continue living our lives as if nothing happened. We may hesitate to speak about it, even with those we trust the most. The stages of grief may happen out of order, over and over again, until someone is healed enough to move forward with their lives. Unfortunately, there is no way to gauge how long it takes for life to feel “normal” again. Someone can seem better a month after the incident than they do a year after the incident, especially because it can take time to process traumatic events. It may get worse before it gets better, but the good news is, this is often a sign of healing. Therapy can drag up a lot of difficult emotions, but it can also help us work through things.

The stages of grief are as follow:

  • denial
  • outrage
  • bargaining
  • depression
  • acceptance

Sometimes the stages can emerge out of nowhere while victims are going about their daily lives. The stages may look like crying, screaming, laying in bed for extended periods of time, attempting to piece together the events, and perhaps even contacting the abuser to have a conversation about what happened.

Other common responses to sexual trauma include:

  • shock
  • PTSD
  • brain fog
  • confusion
  • dissociation
  • memory loss
  • panic attacks
  • fearful behavior
  • substance abuse
  • suicidal thoughts
  • difficulty trusting
  • acute stress disorder
  • isolation from others
  • nightmares or flashbacks
  • changes in sleep or appetite
  • feeling like you’re “going crazy”
  • brainstorming ways to get revenge
  • self-blame even though it’s not your fault

A common response is for survivors to question whether or not they played a role in what happened to them. Abusers will often try to avoid responsibility by saying the victim somehow consented. Keep in mind that none of the following are considered consent:

  • the victim/survivor did not say no.
  • the victim/survivor was uninformed.
  • the victim/survivor incapacitated.
  • the victim/survivor was pressured into it.
  • the victim/survivor was under the age of 18.
  • the victim/survivor was wearing revealing clothes.

Steps to take if you’ve undergone sexual trauma

  1. Seek immediate safety.
  2. Receive medical attention.
  3. Talk to a mental health professional.
  4. Speak with someone you trust about it.
  5. If it is safe, gather any evidence you can.
  6. Reach out for free, confidential, 24/7 support.
  7. Contact an attorney who specializes in sexual abuse.
  8. If you would like to report it, call or visit your local police station.

Evidence may include photographs/videos, witness statements, text messages or voicemails, any document or piece of media that is dated and time stamped, admission of guilt on the abuser’s part, and medical records.

Hospitals have rape kits, also known as sexual assault forensic exams. These preserve possible DNA evidence for 72-96 hours after the event. Hospitals can also treat any injuries sustained from the abuse, test for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and address pregnancy concerns.

How loved ones can support a survivor

Many people want to know how they can help a friend, family member, or partner who has been sexually abused. A few ways include:

  • helping them take the above steps.
  • respecting their way of dealing with it.
  • encouraging them to engage in self-care.
  • letting them know they can come to you.
  • not forcing them to tell you what happened.
  • offering to stay with them or them with you.
  • asking them directly what you can do to help.
  • educating yourself on the impact of this abuse.
  • offering to accompany them to the hospital, police station, or law firm.
  • being aware of how sexual trauma may change the way they engage in physical touch.
  • understanding, if you are their romantic partner, that there may be changes to your sex life or relationship.

Whatever you do, do not blame them for the abuse that happened to them. It is not their fault in any way.

How can a lawyer help?

You may be wondering how a lawyer can help. Grant Boyd with O’Brien Law Firm takes an empathetic approach to advocate for his clients who have undergone sexual abuse. He also provides them with resources, including connecting them with a psychotherapist. He is passionate about seeking fair and just compensation for his clients through filing a personal injury claim. This is a type of civil case that aims to give victims settlement money for damages such as medical expenses, lost wages, and pain and suffering. This way, finances are one less factor survivors have to worry about after undergoing a traumatic event.

Lawyers can:

  • listen to your story.
  • fight for your rights.
  • help gather evidence.
  • investigate your case.
  • be there to support you.
  • assist with claims for justice and financial compensation
  • file a personal injury lawsuit.
  • assist you through mediation.
  • help you navigate the legal process.
  • be there for you through the deposition.
  • represent you in court.
  • discuss individuals or organizations who can be sued.
  • help connect you with resources that can support and assist you.

Sexually abused? We believe you.

One of the hardest experiences to endure after being raped or sexually assaulted is for someone to not believe you. We want you to know we believe you. We will do everything in our power to get you the compensation you deserve. You have already suffered enough—don’t let the responsible party walk away without having to pay. Grant Boyd is an expert attorney who specializes in sexual abuse cases, and he is honored to fight vigorously for crime victims. The best part—he only gets paid if you get paid. He will help you for free until and unless you receive a settlement for your losses. This makes his services 100% risk free. Contact him today for a free consultation to embark on the journey toward receiving the benefits you so rightfully deserve.