Discovering that your child has been abused by someone within your own family is among the most painful revelations a parent can face. It brings not only legal questions, but emotional trauma, family division, and deeply rooted fear. You may feel overwhelmed, uncertain about what to do next, or even paralyzed by guilt and grief.
At O’Brien Law Firm, we have worked with families across Missouri who have faced these heartbreaking situations. This article is designed to offer clarity and support for those considering civil action against a family member. We will explain your legal options, what to expect from the process, and how to protect your child and yourself during this difficult time.
The Complexities of Intra-Family Abuse
When abuse occurs within a family, it often carries added layers of complication. The person responsible may be a trusted relative — a step-parent, cousin, uncle, sibling, or even a biological parent. The abuse may have taken place in your home or during family gatherings. Your child may feel conflicted, scared, or manipulated into silence.
As a result, the legal process must be handled with care. Civil lawsuits against family members involve more than the facts of the abuse. They also involve emotional safety, protective planning, and sometimes community judgment or backlash.
You are not alone in this. And it is important to know that legal action is not only possible, but often essential to preventing further harm and beginning the healing process.
What Are the Legal Options in Missouri?
Families can pursue several legal actions when abuse is committed by a relative. These include:
Filing a Civil Lawsuit
You can bring a civil lawsuit against the abuser for damages related to the harm inflicted on your child. This includes:
- Emotional trauma
- Medical or therapy expenses
- Long term care costs
- Pain and suffering
- Loss of normal childhood development
A civil case allows you to seek justice on your child’s behalf and hold the abuser financially accountable. It also creates an official legal record of what occurred.
Seeking a Protective Order
Missouri allows parents or guardians to request an order of protection to legally prevent the abuser from having contact with your child. This is critical for immediate safety and peace of mind.
In emergency situations, a temporary order may be granted quickly while the court evaluates longer term protections.
Reporting to Child Protective Services and Law Enforcement
If you suspect or confirm abuse, you must report it to the Missouri Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline at 1-800-392-3738. A report will initiate an investigation and may lead to criminal charges.
Even if no charges are filed, the findings can be used to support your civil claim.
Modifying Custody or Guardianship
If the abuser is a custodial parent or guardian, it may be necessary to petition the court for emergency changes to custody, visitation, or parental rights. These matters are handled in family court and may run alongside a civil lawsuit.
Our legal team works with family law attorneys when needed to coordinate a strategy that keeps your child safe.
Emotional Barriers Families Often Face
It is common for parents to hesitate before taking legal action against a family member. This hesitation does not mean you do not care. It means you are trying to protect your child while also managing fear, confusion, and sometimes pressure from others.
Here are some of the emotional challenges you may be facing:
Guilt
You may feel that you should have seen the signs or protected your child sooner. Please know that the blame lies with the abuser — not with you. Coming forward now is an act of strength.
Fear of family division
Legal action may strain or break family relationships. Some relatives may not believe the child or may attempt to pressure you into silence. While this is painful, your priority must be your child’s safety and recovery.
Concern for your child’s emotional well-being
You may worry that pursuing a lawsuit will retraumatize your child. However, many children feel validated when adults take action to protect them. We use a trauma informed process to minimize emotional stress at every stage.
Embarrassment or public exposure
You may fear what your community, workplace, or extended family will say. Remember that protecting your child is more important than anyone’s opinion. Civil cases can often be filed with privacy protections in place.
How Civil Lawsuits Can Help Families Heal
While no legal action can erase abuse, civil lawsuits can support healing in several ways:
- They provide recognition that the abuse happened
- They shift the burden of responsibility away from the survivor
- They provide resources for therapy, education, and recovery
- They give parents a sense of control and direction during a crisis
- They help prevent the abuser from harming other children
Justice and healing go hand in hand. By taking action, you are showing your child that what happened was wrong — and that your family will stand up for what is right.
What to Expect in the Legal Process
If you decide to move forward with a civil lawsuit, here is what you can expect:
Consultation and Evaluation
We begin with a confidential conversation to understand your child’s experience and your family’s situation. We explain the legal options and answer all of your questions.
Building the Case
Our legal team collects evidence, including medical or therapy records, witness accounts, and documentation of how the abuse affected your child. If the abuse was reported to an agency, we may use the findings in your case.
Filing the Lawsuit
We prepare and file a formal complaint against the abuser and any other responsible party. This document outlines what happened and what damages are being pursued.
Legal Proceedings
The defendant has an opportunity to respond. The case may proceed to discovery, where both sides exchange information. In many cases, a settlement is reached without a trial.
If trial becomes necessary, we use child sensitive procedures to minimize stress and trauma for the survivor.
Resolution and Recovery
When the case is resolved, your family may receive financial compensation. More importantly, you will have taken a meaningful step toward justice and safety.
Protecting Your Child During the Process
Throughout the legal journey, your child’s emotional wellbeing must remain the top priority. We work closely with mental health professionals, school counselors, and child advocacy groups to provide support.
You can help your child by:
- Reassuring them that they are safe
- Letting them speak at their own pace
- Providing access to a trusted therapist
- Being consistent with routines and stability
- Avoiding pressure or guilt about legal decisions
We also help parents find specialized therapists with experience in trauma and child abuse. These professionals can prepare your child for any legal interviews and support their recovery.
Addressing Common Questions
Can I sue even if the abuse happened years ago?
Yes. Missouri law allows child sexual abuse survivors to file civil lawsuits until age thirty one. In some cases, that window may be extended based on when the harm was discovered.
What if the abuser is already in prison?
You can still file a civil lawsuit. A criminal conviction may actually support your case. Civil claims can also pursue damages from institutions that failed to protect your child.
What if the family member denies everything?
Denial is common in abuse cases. We build cases using evidence, witness testimony, expert input, and legal strategy. You do not need an admission to file a claim.
Will my family be exposed to public scrutiny?
We take privacy seriously. In many cases, identifying information can be protected. We will work with the court to limit unnecessary exposure and ensure confidentiality wherever possible.
Final Thoughts
Facing abuse within a family is one of the hardest things a parent will ever do. But taking legal action is not just about accountability — it is about showing your child that they are worthy of protection, safety, and justice.
At O’Brien Law Firm, we will stand by your side with compassion, clarity, and strength. You are not alone. Your child’s voice matters. And together, we can fight for what is right.